Trust Me

I sat down next to her, under the shade of the Tree. Not that we needed the shade. It was a cloudy, gray day, and it was threatening to rain. But it's more atmospheric like that, I guess.

"I don't know what happened," I said. "Everything was fine, and then it was gone. I didn't even have time to blink."

"It's like that sometimes," she said, reassuringly. At least, her tone spoke of reassurance. Her empty, distant stare seemed to suggest something much darker. "But you loved him."

"Of course," I answered, maybe a little too quickly. "I think I still do." I tucked my knees up to my chest and hugged them close, like a little kid. She could probably tell from my body language how quickly I had bared myself, as if to declare my vulnerability to every emotional predator in a ten mile radius.

She whipped her head towards me. Fangs dripped with blood, tentacles sprawled and reached out hungrily, and her gaze penetrated into my soul. Well, maybe only that last bit was true. "Loved. Don't fool yourself into thinking that things are the same, or ever could be."

"But even if the trust is gone--"

"No. Love is trust. Trust is love."

I glared at her. "It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

I wasn't sure what to say. It was a simple question, but the answer eluded me. I realized that I hadn't been asking the right questions, or even the easy ones. It had always been far simpler to take him at face value. Had I always been so complacent?

"You're just naive," she spat, bitterly, as if reading my thoughts.

I clenched my fists, grabbing at clumps of damp grass. "If I can't love completely, then it isn't love. Just as much as it isn't trust."

"No, you're wrong there too." It was making me mad, that twinge of triumph in her voice. It was all I could do to remind myself that she wasn't out to make me look stupid or feel like an awful person, even if recent developments would have me believe otherwise about myself. "Love isn't an on and off switch. If it soothes your overly mechanical mind, think of it as an analog slider."

"So shouldn't trust move in degrees as well?"

She smiled at me for the first time today. A genuine, warm smile. "Now you're thinking."